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July 24, 2023

What to Do When You’ve Been Asked to Serve as an Executor


If a family member or friend has asked you to serve as executor of their estate, it’s critical that you understand the responsibilities and potential risks before you sign on. Note that you are not required to accept this appointment, but once you do, it can be difficult to extricate yourself if you change your mind.

With that in mind, it’s important to ask yourself the right questions before you accept the role.

Questions to ask before you become an executor

What’s your relationship to the person requesting you become their executor? 

If they’re a close family member, you may want to consider not accepting the appointment if you think your grief after their passing will make it difficult to effectively follow their instructions in your role as executor.

Are the duties of executor something you are willing and able to take on? 

Usually, an executor is responsible for: 

  • Handling probate
  • Identifying and taking custody of the deceased’s assets
  • Making investment decisions 
  • Filing tax returns 
  • Dealing with creditors’ claims
  • Paying the estate’s expenses
  • Distributing assets according to the will

While you can seek help from professionals such as attorneys, accountants, and investment managers, it’s still a labor-intensive process that may provide little or no compensation. 

Inquire about whether there’s an executor’s fee and whether the estate has set aside funds to pay for the services of professional advisors.

Does it make sense based on where you are located? 

If you’re living far away from the place where the beneficiaries and assets are located, your role as executor will be more difficult, expensive, and time-consuming.

What is your relationship with the beneficiaries like?

If your relationship with the beneficiaries is in any way troubled, accepting the appointment could put you in a difficult position, especially if you’re also a beneficiary and the other beneficiaries view your appointment as a conflict of interest.

Will your expenses be paid by the estate? 

Even if you receive no fee or commission for serving as executor, you need to ensure that the estate will pay or reimburse you for any out-of-pocket costs you incur while fulfilling the deceased's wishes.

A final consideration is that some individuals appoint co-executors. For instance, they may choose one person who knows the family and understands its dynamics and an independent executor with the required expertise. 

It’s important to know if you’ll serve as executor solo or with a partner. Depending on the circumstances, having a co-executor may be a relief, or it may add more complications.

Let Smolin be your guide

If you’re unsure whether you want to agree to become an executor for a friend or family member, or you have questions about how this role could impact your life, contact Smolin, and we’ll help you determine whether this role is the right one for you.

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